Theory of Relativity
No, no, no, it's not my foundation. Not yet. Poured a footing for an addition on a house that's already got 4,000 sf. Weird. Whatever. You see how stiff the mix is? That's good - (even though I was supposed to be over there poking it instead of taking photos, hence the overflowing you see). Higher compressive strength when it cures. So right after I take this photo the Mixer Driver starts giving me pointers on photography.
"Know what I learned about photos?" he says "My niece loves this shit. She says you gotta put something in there to get the idea of how big something is. Something alongside it. Or in the beforeground of it to see--"
"Perspective," my boss chimes in. "things arranged in the different layers to give an idea of space or relative size ."
"Chrissakes, how the fuck-"
"He knows everything," I say. And no kidding, the guy does. I've seen him translate Latin, flirt in French, correct people about Native American history, Napoleon's defeat, and the economic significance of the Cotton Gin. More about him later.
My boss spits, harpoons a snowbank with a shovel, leans on it, and says "Yeah, I use that all the time with my girlfriend. Whenever I take my pants off in front of her I always make sure to hold a Bic pen a few inches in front of my dick to make me look huge. "
Mixer Driver laughs, "Trickery, I like it. Fuckin David Copperfield."
My boss: "Yeah, but the problem is I end up making the pen look big."