Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Trowel Movement



This is me troweling a freshly poured footing. Rough on the left. Smooth on the right. Any questions? Good, now we'll study "how to take out the garbage."
No, no, no still not my house, dammit. Pretty straightforward this work. Like making a cake. Pour the batter in, let it bake, and presto! - a foundation! Someone asked me if this work is difficult. I thought about it, and no, for the most part residential foundations are not that difficult (unless you get into a really weird shape or dicey conditions). It's back-breaking, but it's not difficult. I think tricky is a better word. It's definitely tricky. The layout, the assembly, the steel. To me tricky means that out of the 50 things that you have to remember during the process, not a single one is difficult, but if you forget one of those fifty things or ignore one, you fucked everything up. And it's not like my mistakes doing carpentry where I pull some nails for a morning and rebuild it. When you botch concrete layout, you could be stuck with an 80 ton mistake. We're talking jackhammers, excavators and dump trucks fixing your stupid mistake for a week. You feel like a total retard - like the time I was working at a deli counter as a teenager and I asked a fat lady when she was expecting and she wasn't.

38 Comments:

Blogger Rev. Brandy said...

Yes, that might have been embarrassing, but think of it this way: you might have indirectly encouraged her to make different choices in her life so as to never have that question posed again . . . resulting in renewed health and vigor on her part. Could be!

7:49 AM  
Blogger dora said...

if nothing else, you convinced me never to do foundations, don't think it would be wice, too many weeks of vasted time

12:55 PM  
Blogger Jef said...

Ha! I made the same mistake once, asked a lady when she was due-and she wasnt..and she said...due??? for what? to kick your ass?!!
Um,,help...

4:11 PM  
Blogger jay said...

to JEF: So funny. I guess it's an easy thing for guys to mistake. But there's only a small percentage of us that actually think it's cool to blurt it out. Most of us were killed instantly after asking, but there's a few of us still alive.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Sally said...

Is that really your hand?

5:06 PM  
Blogger jay said...

Yes. Really my hand. Strange question, Sally.

6:59 PM  
Blogger zackariah said...

Hey my brother in law does work like that and i do a little every chance i get I help him build his foundation for his house and garage the house was a styrofoam mold fill with cement and the garage was poured wall i really enjoy the work some times

7:31 PM  
Blogger Afe said...

When I last weilded a trowel a couple of weeks ago, my wife insisted that I leave a cutesy heart love message in the wet cement of our new bathroom. (AS loves PS). I'm so ashamed.

10:05 PM  
Blogger Sylvana said...

I love your explanation of difficult vs tricky. I have had trouble explaining that myself- but now I know.

10:25 PM  
Blogger Poor college student said...

Haahahaha. My boyfriend's mother asked a fat woman how far along she was one time. It was the most uncomfortable moment of my life.

11:25 PM  
Blogger etteham said...

you have goodblog

4:44 AM  
Blogger etteham said...

www.etteham.blogspot.com

4:52 AM  
Blogger etteham said...

www.etteham.blogspot.com

4:54 AM  
Blogger uGLy BoY said...

you liberal elites are driving this country right into the ground.

5:38 AM  
Blogger Sugar said...

So are you beefy & hot?!

8:45 AM  
Blogger Daniel Heath said...

(Jay, man, you're getting people hot under the collar with this cement post. Something about footings I guess... first the hand question, and now this...)

(I'm totally jealous. the only time anyone asks me that is when I'm playing sandwich-themed 20 questions.)

10:28 AM  
Blogger Derek said...

Of course you could make it worse. After they deny being pregnant you could refuse to believe it and think they were covering it up, "No. Come on really, you're pregnant right? You can tell me ..."

1:56 PM  
Blogger Bandit said...

LMAO at the last few lines.

4:55 PM  
Blogger jkirlin said...

I asked an ER nurse one time. I thought I'd be leaving in worse shape than I went in.

9:23 PM  
Blogger Sally said...

Ah , yes, Jay, I would like to get back to the hand. This was not such a weird question actually because I am not convinced that you did not get a model to use his hand for this photo.
Come on now. Time to fess up.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Sally said...

I think this hand is ugly boy's hand . Thats why he is crabby about liberal elites. He is mad because you have taken credit for his hand. Ugly Boy, I understand you, my friend, but really. If you signed a hand modeling contrct, you signed a hand modeling contract.

9:36 PM  
Blogger jay said...

To SALLY: Ok, I admit it. MonkeyO is my hand model. Ugly Boy is my strongarm for hand models that get out of line. See, I am a member of the "liberal elite" and me and Ugly Boy forced MonkeyO to sign a one-sided hand contract that has left him destitute, bitter and plagued by nightmares. Our attorneys are currently battling for some kind of settlement. Because I'm a "liberal" I'll probably end up throwing him a couple grand, and because I'm "elite" I won't let him go to any of my fancypants coctail parties ever again.

3:52 AM  
Blogger Ursula said...

You have a gorgeous hand. Very hot.

11:04 AM  
Blogger Daniel Heath said...

thank you for the complement, ursula, but I'm afraid I can't comment due to pending litigation.

THE PEOPLE
UNITED
WILL NEVER GET INTO JAY'S COCKTAIL PARTIES

12:20 PM  
Blogger Sally said...

Doesnt it feel good to tell the truth Jay?
Sorry Ugly Boy being an asshole never pays off. Guess youre gonna have to sit home with a 12 pack a Budweiser and think about what it REALLY means to be a conservative American. Meanwhile Jay is going to be smoozen and boozin with the liberal best of em.Do liberals still shutter at the thought of little umbrellas in their drinks or has this made a comeback as of late? Hmm.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

I have to join the ladies in admiring your hand, Jay. Very sexy hand. Strong. Do you have a matched set?

7:40 AM  
Blogger Marina said...

All these home repairs sound very complicated for me who cannot replace a burnt lamp. You have loads of humor too. I like your blog very much

11:48 AM  
Blogger Hello said...

Gawd that is a damn sexy hand!

11:11 PM  
Blogger yep said...

Hey that was me! AND, you didn't give me enough mayo!! Good luck on the house. Been there, done that. Sucks, and for me, not worth it! (Yeah, you won't meet too many women that don't have the white picket fence dream!) But, YOU GO! Have fun, but don't come crying to me to sew back on your fingers that got radial sawed off.:)

10:12 PM  
Blogger M.A.Smith said...

Nice Hand. Steady as she goes. The comments if-y, I've had it asked of me, only because I wore baggy clothes... What bothered me the most was that by asking me what my due date was, she was assuming that I screwed someone! The nerve.
All is forgiven, these things pass. Again, Nice Hand. Good Job! Great Blog:)

7:52 PM  
Blogger jay said...

M.A.Smith: Uh... the thing you found shocking is that someone assumed you had sex? Wow. That's pretty crazy. I can't imagine why you would find that offensive. I can imagine a lot of stuff, but I can't imagine that. Unless you're really young or something. Or you're kidding me.

4:54 AM  
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